I grew up in a small town tucked into the hills of New Hampshire. There is no gas station, and a traffic jam is considered two cars stuck behind an International Harvester. Greenfield is in the middle of the Monadnock Region, and often it seems like time stands still here. When I was in my teens I couldn’t stand it. It was outdated, boring and I couldn’t wait to leave. I felt like there were more exciting places waiting over the horizon. The funny thing is that as soon as I left, I realized how important home was.
My boyfriend and I are living in Manchester while we look for houses. It is not a large city, but I find it too much. Manchester is too large, and the houses too close together. It seems like we wake up every morning to sirens, or cars with loud exhausted speeding by. When you have so many people living together it is hard to avoid.
I used to get overwhelmed often. That frustration would bubble over into my daily life, creating arguments, or meltdowns. I knew that I was upset, but could never vocalize why I was feeling like that. A few years ago, I stumbled upon an article about introverts, and it clicked. It explained my feelings, and my relationship with others. My quiet nature and the sensitivity to noise. The fact that I get drained when I spend time with friends and loved ones. Most important, I realized why living in the city bothered me so much.
Understanding this part of my personality has improved my relationship with my world. I have become better at recognizing my feelings, and when I need to engage in self care. I know now, how to remove myself before irritation and sullenness set in. Little trips out of town help, and moment spent in silence do as well. Making time for these things ensures I stay balanced.
As an introvert, life can be difficult. We live in a fast paced loud world that can be overwhelming. Some days it can be like you don’t belong. Yet self discovery has shown me that I do have a place. We may be in the city for now, but we will get back to small town living soon.